Expanding Trust in Life

Everything around you, is you. If you don’t trust something in this world, you don’t trust something in you. If you don’t trust everything in you, you won’t trust everything in this world. There is nothing wrong with not having full trust in yourself. There is nothing wrong with not having full trust in this world.

Today I am in the JFK airport in New York City. I arrived here from Paris, France at 10pm. My next flight is going to Salt Lake City, Utah, and it leaves at 6:30am. I’ve been waiting in a corner of the airport check in area for a while now.

I met the woman who sat next to me a few moments ago, and we exchanged a few words. She told me about her trip to Istanbul, Turkey. About an hour passed and I had to go to the bathroom. I definitely wanted to leave my suitcase, and I thought it would be wise to take my backpack with me. I told the woman I was going to the bathroom and asked if she would be okay watching my things. She said, “yes leave it here!” I left all of my things, and walked to the bathroom.

As my body began moving towards the bathroom and away from my things, I watched thoughts come into my awareness quicker. Anxiety, fear, and worry, all three were present. After a few moments of listening to that worry, I heard a stronger, more clear voice inside of me say, “and what does your heart think?” I took my focus out of my thoughts and as I witnessed my heart… I was calm. The next thing I thought to myself was, “here I am, expanding my ability to trust life.”

You who is reading this might think I’m crazy. Why didn’t I just take my things with me, so that I didn’t have to worry? A question I would like to ask is, why would I miss an opportunity to show myself that this world has good people in it, good people that are trustworthy?

I trust in the flow of this life. I trust in the feelings in my heart. I watch my mind grow in awareness of the goodness of this world. It really can be a place of pure goodness. I believe that.

For anyone that is wondering, when I got back from the bathroom, my things were untouched. Some would say, “lucky you!” Luck is not a factor for me here, instead, a deep knowing of my connection/relationship with the universe, with everything that is here right now, is present. That truly is all that I need. This knowing of who I am leads me into the situations that are right for me. I trust my decisions because I trust myself to follow the highest callings of the universe. I welcome in greater trust in life. Amen.

fire within

Each one of us is ignited with a creative flame.

We all have a desire to impact the world.

We all have a story to tell, a story with the ability to burn brightly.

Before I started following my passions, I could actually feel my body getting sick. I felt like if I didn’t find some way to express myself creatively that I might die. I felt this craving inside, a need to be fulfilled, and it couldn’t come from anything other than my own self expression.

Sometimes my thoughts and feelings were so bad that I thought I had a brain tumor…. I know, I know, a little extreme. But I actually felt trapped in such a way that I thought that I was ill. I would numb my ambition with things that I thought would fulfill me– food, netflix, sleep, boys. “You can’t” “You won’t” “You shouldn’t” were the loudest voices in my mind. Soon enough I woke up from the sleep I was in, to see myself in a new light. I saw where I was going with the way that I was living, and I realized how powerful my thoughts were. The “you can’t” turned into “maaaybbeee you can try” and then it became “okay wait let’s go” and then eventually it was a “woah we’ve done it”.

Instead of trying to put my creative fire out, I started to let it burn, and eventually my whole world was on fire. Ablaze with energy, inspiration, action, and ambition.

The doubts still creep in, but with awareness, I see that these doubts are just a part of this experience. They are there to test my faith and to polish my ambition. When I am able to see them as just a phase, just a passing energy, I am able to work through them more quickly.

In this journey of coexisting with the creative force within me, I’ve learned that the flames that we fear are actually the source of our greatest light.

Remind yourself of the light that you truly are. Keep shining.