“Oh wow! There is one thing here that is like our future home…” I said.
My partner looked at me with pure confusion. And frustration.
We were staying in a tiny, very tiny, airbnb room in Mexico. It was day nine of our trip together and we had spent the last two days inside the room, because we both were having the infamous Mexico stomach problems.
“The bathroom is connected to the bedroom!!” I continued.
I was so excited with what I could see in my imagination, that I just had to express it vocally.
This is how I have learned to live my human life. To take what I see, and filter through all of the things that aren’t so pleasent, and find what is. We had been searching for a home to buy together. Noticing that the bathroom was connected to the bedroom, in our airbnb, made my heart sing. We had toured some homes that were missing that preference, so in my mind, finding a way to focus on that was key to aligning myself with the experience of the beautiful home with a master bathroom connected to the master bedroom. Now, noticing in the airbnb, that the bathroom happened to be just about one foot away from the bed, that made my heart go quiet. To me, life is a game of focus. How can I adjust my focus now, to show the universe what I am open to, what I am pleased with, what I am ready to experience. Life is a journey of learning how to communicate with our universe. There are infinite realities available to us at all times, and our thoughts and emotions are bringing life around us into motion. So, why would I choose to focus on what I don’t like about this space? When there are positive benefits I can see. I can tune my energy into those aspects that I like, and from that space, my imagination activates.
Suddenly, I’m in a home in Oregon. The home I’ve been waiting for. Suddenly instead of it seeming days away, it’s now. I went from a Mexican airbnb to a beautiful rental home. How did I get there? The doorway of gratitude, appreciation, love. When my heart activates, I time travel. The work now, is keeping that heart activated as much as I can. I can see my own ego wanting to turn it off. Isn’t there something here we can complain about? I won’t even react to thoughts like that. I want to stay elevated. I know I didn’t go through the traumatic experience of BIRTH to birth more trauma into my moments, my days, my months, my years. I know I am here to be a light. That is my only function. Nothing more to do. Nothing more to be. I can just glow.
Today I chose to glow with gratitude, and sometimes when I do that in one moment, memories from the past, ones where I wasn’t choosing gratitude come into my awareness. Some people may say that these memories are “tests”. I personally don’t believe in tests from the Universe. What I do believe is happening, is that while I am in this higher state of gratitude and love, that the memories that exist in my subconscious mind that are not of this vibration are coming in to be cleared. These memoires come to the surface, and meet my conscious mind to recieve an offering, and offering of love, peace, gratitude. As the observer of this scene in my mind, I can do one of two things. I fall to my knees with this past event, I can express pity, I can go into pain, I can cry, I can remember the vibration of the victim an fall away from love and grace. The other option is choosing love. I can stay high, and demand this memory rise into being with me, I can claim that my attention is not available to those begging on their knees. I can claim that mind mind is a holy place of love and love is all that can preside. This is the choice that comes from the seat of the throne.
The throne is the place of power in the mind. From this place, everything around you is unfolding in a natural way, a way that you admit you have no understanding of, because you are of the human mind, and the human mind has no role in the creation of reality. You bow to the heart, you surrender the thinking, to the feeling, and you remember the true ruler is above the mind. You do experience moments of understanding, when it comes to the nature of reality, but this is only because you have let go of your mind and lost it to a decently high degree, and what you come to understand is most likely too much of a feeling to articulate into words. There are some instances where words come through, and those are times to be highly grateful for.
Let’s get back to the choice to sit on the throne. In my experience, the coming into being with sitting on the throne has evolved from many times of crying on my knees. Mentally crying on my knees, not physically. Mentally, I’m pitting myself, I’m remembering my life experience through the eyes of victimhood, I’m asking around if anyone can save me. You know, that garbage. I don’t know why that option exists for me, but what I do know, is that it rises me up into the throne many times. I become aware of this sense of separation and lack, and I find myself thinking “this isn’t me!” and up to the throne I go. I watch. I experience. I feel love.
Christina Ariana 