Holy Words For Earth

Despair fills the room.

It is as though you are blind

unable to see my light.

With your Spirit in a bind

and the pain, a unique kind,

you ask to be released.

Who is the one who releases you?

What is it that they must do?

Must they fight a demon?

Must they cast the past away?

What is it for you that you need to see?

What is it for you, for you to be set free?

Tell me, and it will be delivered today.

Wipe me clean

Let all that is seen

In darkness

Be light

God, allow me to borrow your strength, your might

In that I might become more like you

Strong like you

Clear minded like you

Open hearted like you

Let me be yours

Let me be strength

My brothers and sisters are in the grip of the devil and I call on my Father to save them. My Father is a being of pure love and light. My Father is a being of great strength and might. I cannot live to see more suffering on this earth without taking action in the light any longer. I’ve gotten stronger and it is time for the world to see it. I have a voice, and it is time I release it. Let peace and joy be heard among all nations.

I’ve been gifted with holy rage

I see the world around me in fear

Let me be clear

We must connect more

We must explore the hearts and minds of others

We are sister and brothers

Why are we afraid of one another?

Why are afraid?

Expanding Trust in Life

Everything around you, is you. If you don’t trust something in this world, you don’t trust something in you. If you don’t trust everything in you, you won’t trust everything in this world. There is nothing wrong with not having full trust in yourself. There is nothing wrong with not having full trust in this world.

Today I am in the JFK airport in New York City. I arrived here from Paris, France at 10pm. My next flight is going to Salt Lake City, Utah, and it leaves at 6:30am. I’ve been waiting in a corner of the airport check in area for a while now.

I met the woman who sat next to me a few moments ago, and we exchanged a few words. She told me about her trip to Istanbul, Turkey. About an hour passed and I had to go to the bathroom. I definitely wanted to leave my suitcase, and I thought it would be wise to take my backpack with me. I told the woman I was going to the bathroom and asked if she would be okay watching my things. She said, “yes leave it here!” I left all of my things, and walked to the bathroom.

As my body began moving towards the bathroom and away from my things, I watched thoughts come into my awareness quicker. Anxiety, fear, and worry, all three were present. After a few moments of listening to that worry, I heard a stronger, more clear voice inside of me say, “and what does your heart think?” I took my focus out of my thoughts and as I witnessed my heart… I was calm. The next thing I thought to myself was, “here I am, expanding my ability to trust life.”

You who is reading this might think I’m crazy. Why didn’t I just take my things with me, so that I didn’t have to worry? A question I would like to ask is, why would I miss an opportunity to show myself that this world has good people in it, good people that are trustworthy?

I trust in the flow of this life. I trust in the feelings in my heart. I watch my mind grow in awareness of the goodness of this world. It really can be a place of pure goodness. I believe that.

For anyone that is wondering, when I got back from the bathroom, my things were untouched. Some would say, “lucky you!” Luck is not a factor for me here, instead, a deep knowing of my connection/relationship with the universe, with everything that is here right now, is present. That truly is all that I need. This knowing of who I am leads me into the situations that are right for me. I trust my decisions because I trust myself to follow the highest callings of the universe. I welcome in greater trust in life. Amen.

To Every Personality I Have Ever Clung To

To every personality I have every clung to, thank you.

You come into my world

A beautiful girl

A talented girl

Wise girl

Strong girl

Girl who works out

Girl who loves smoothies

Girl who loves dating

Girl, girl, girl

I can try forever to be one

but, I’m not.

I’m waking up to all that I am beyond all of the personalities, a reality where I am liberated from being “myself”.

Being “myself” has been painful, exhausting, thrilling, exciting, a journey I have loved deeply, but finally

life takes me into this new moment without any concept of who I am.

No vision to live into, but the vision of full expression of the self that is here in this moment

there is no need for me to be anyone I am not

and no expectation to return into who I once was.

Here I am

a person

a soul occupying a body



and I might never feel this way again

or I might feel this way all the time.

The point is that in this moment, I’m not controlling anything. I’m let off. Released. Broken, like the egg shell that holds the golden yolk.

We would starve, if we never let ourselves get devoured, and transformed.

you can make beautiful art…

while falling apart.

I hope you enjoy my newest ebook. I’ve made a few of these, but this is my very first one I have decided to publish. Stay blessed. Enjoy. ❤️

Who Are We

Poetry I am
in my mind
I can



Sweet melody
within me,
won’t you come out to be seen?

every part of me
breathes golden brown


We are the last of the bruised

the last of the shackled
writers of a new way
we are carriers and all I can say is

I can sing my melody

I am ready to show the world
who it is that is truly, fully free.

Power, flow through us, easy

Love, flow through us, freely

Money, come and be, come and release, come and play

Come and play

Return today

To who we truly are

To who we truly are

I’m Home.

These people that break our hearts are real people. They have histories and beliefs and wants and needs. When we want love from someone else, and aren’t getting it, we dehumanize them. We speak about them, calling out what is wrong or lacking in them, because of course there must be something wrong or lacking in them if they can’t or don’t want to love us. I used to do this. But there was never anything wrong with them, there was never anything wrong with me. None of it ever meant anything. It was just a scene in the movie of my life and the only reason it hurt so bad was because I was using my mental power to attempt to rewrite a scene that had already aired on the screen of life. Mentally molding myself and the person who didn’t love me enough to fit an idea of what should have happened between us was destroying me. With all of my energy tied up in the past energy exchanges that occurred between us, I was blind to any other possibilities for our future. This behavior was what caused me the pain, not the man, or the heartbreak, or the loss of a person, but the mere resistance to what is the present moment reality. That is the only thing that can ever truly cause suffering in this world. All suffering ends when there is acceptance found in what is here in the one present moment. If I can’t find acceptance in the present moment, I can just be here and experience the emotions that are true in the space between me and my coming into union with acceptance. Eventually, witnessing it move through and out of my consciousness. Yet, not being here for that reason at all. The emotions are simply here to pass through. I know I came into existence for my experience, the one I have here and now. Life will move, within my seasons of surrender to full experiences of it.

Light of the Holy World

I look at pictures of myself and think, “wow. That girl deserves everything.”

Not in a conceded way.

Not in a selfish way.

I think of myself in this way, because I know how much I’ve been through.

I let go of what this world has given me in the past, and I focus on what is given to me in this moment.

I knew what I would be doing for this world, in the future and that I needed to be here.

There were so many times that I wanted to quit.

But, here I am.


Rising from nothing. Moving. Choosing myself and choosing love, even when I feel judged for doing so. I chose solitude over empty connections. I waited until I had something more to pour. All along, God kept me breathing. That was how I knew I mattered, because I was breathing. I didn’t remain in the light the entire time. I lost myself, I did. But I always came back. I was always welcomed wholeheartedly. The people of the earth have navigated the worlds deadliest, darkest events, and still, we chose to have love within us. We choose to love our creator, ourselves, the people around us, and planet earth even in great pain.

With all of this light and unconditional love in our hearts, we were now unstoppable.

We went through the tests, victorious.

In the past, I didn’t understand what it was, or what it was for. But still, I trusted that one day I would know how to use it.

That day, has finally come.

I promised the Universe that I would be ready when that day would come.

Here it is.

I deserve every single ounce of good that comes my way, don’t ever think otherwise. I worked for this. I earned this. It was never easy, until I decided it could be. It was never fun, until I let it all in.

Now, and forever, I deserve all the light in the world, I deserve all I desire to have.

I am One with the Light of the Holy World.

I breathe the highest blessings into this New Holy World, and Every One Here with me.

This is a new era.

Growing Pains (Part One)

I’ve never wanted much from this life. Even before I had my spiritual awakening, I never had much interest in brand name things or massive homes. I remember being a teenager, shopping for clothes with my mom and she was willing to buy me whatever clothes I wanted, but I would rather have the cheap and simple clothes. Growing up, my family wasn’t extremely wealthy, but my parents were able to provide my brother and I what we wanted and needed.

My college was paid for by my parents. I was expected to climb the corporate ladder and live an abundant, successful life. My parents struggled to pay for their own schooling and never graduated from undergrad, they did whatever they could to make sure that I didn’t face the same challenge. They believed that if they had been able to obtain that college degree, that their lives would have been so much easier.

My existence shattered that belief for them, among many others. To them, my life looks challenging and unfavorable. My mom has even gone as far to say that this part of my life a rock bottom. She tells the whole family about it, saying things like “at least my son is doing well right now and I can focus on that positive.”

The weird part of it all is that I don’t think this is a rock bottom, I feel so good about where I am at. I’ll explain.

After college, I decided that instead of selling my soul to the corporate world and chaining myself to a desk, that I would create my own career. I attended a seminar and signed up for a business program with no idea what my business would be or how things would go. I grew a lot through the program that I was doing, even though I wasn’t having much financial success. With the lack of financial success, I began to pray about what I should do. The next day, I got a call from Crunch Fitness and they asked if I could interview for an open personal training position. I ended up getting the job, and I loved it. I worked with so many amazing clients and I felt so fulfilled to watch them reach their goals. The job was fun too.

Over time, I started to fall in love with helping people with mindset, emotional health, and creating a spiritual practice, more than I was loving giving my clients meal plans and workout schedules. I also had reached a year with the company and felt badly about not doing much to work towards my dream of having my own business. With the intention of possibly branching out into a different field, I invested in a meditation and breathwork teacher program and received a certificate. I started working one on one with clients online and I was really enjoying myself. I hired a business coach and started getting back to my original goals that I had before I got this personal training job.

When I felt financially stable, I decided to quit my job at the gym. This brought my parents into a panic. It’s hard to watch the choices that liberate and excite you cause harm to others, especially when it is people that you really care about. I couldn’t take the energy I was getting from them. It was overwhelming and frustrating. I felt like they were waiting for everything to fall apart. They constantly asked me how many clients I had, and maybe they were truly curious, but to me, it felt like they had been worried for hours and desperately needed to know. I desperately needed space from them.

I also pushed myself away from my business coach. I stopped coming to our calls and I wasn’t too responsive when we messaged. I thought it would be a good idea to travel more, to gain independence, and learn more about myself. I wanted to be in new environments with new people. As soon as my lease on my apartment ended, I booked a one way ticket to Mexico.

My plan was to travel for months, maybe even a year on my own. My mom hated that idea. She said I needed to be with someone, that it wouldn’t be safe. I let that get in my head. I wished that when I presented my plans and ideas to my parents that they could be met with support.

In December, a month before my Mexico trip, I met someone. Looking back, I wish I would’ve had more focus, but at this point I was heading way off of the path I had set for myself. I was telling myself stories that no one believed in me, just because my mom didn’t. Having this man in my life was a distraction from everything that was hurting deep inside me. Because my inner child was in such a wounded state, this man and I bonded very quickly. We even talked about getting married after just a week of knowing each other. He became my escape from the world. I stopped working out. I stopped meditating. I stopped working on my business all together. We also literally escaped, because in January, we went to Mexico and left everything behind.

To be continued in my next post…

Mexico // the throne

“Oh wow! There is one thing here that is like our future home…” I said.

My partner looked at me with pure confusion. And frustration.

We were staying in a tiny, very tiny, airbnb room in Mexico. It was day nine of our trip together and we had spent the last two days inside the room, because we both were having the infamous Mexico stomach problems.

“The bathroom is connected to the bedroom!!” I continued.

I was so excited with what I could see in my imagination, that I just had to express it vocally.

This is how I have learned to live my human life. To take what I see, and filter through all of the things that aren’t so pleasent, and find what is. We had been searching for a home to buy together. Noticing that the bathroom was connected to the bedroom, in our airbnb, made my heart sing. We had toured some homes that were missing that preference, so in my mind, finding a way to focus on that was key to aligning myself with the experience of the beautiful home with a master bathroom connected to the master bedroom. Now, noticing in the airbnb, that the bathroom happened to be just about one foot away from the bed, that made my heart go quiet. To me, life is a game of focus. How can I adjust my focus now, to show the universe what I am open to, what I am pleased with, what I am ready to experience. Life is a journey of learning how to communicate with our universe. There are infinite realities available to us at all times, and our thoughts and emotions are bringing life around us into motion. So, why would I choose to focus on what I don’t like about this space? When there are positive benefits I can see. I can tune my energy into those aspects that I like, and from that space, my imagination activates.

Suddenly, I’m in a home in Oregon. The home I’ve been waiting for. Suddenly instead of it seeming days away, it’s now. I went from a Mexican airbnb to a beautiful rental home. How did I get there? The doorway of gratitude, appreciation, love. When my heart activates, I time travel. The work now, is keeping that heart activated as much as I can. I can see my own ego wanting to turn it off. Isn’t there something here we can complain about? I won’t even react to thoughts like that. I want to stay elevated. I know I didn’t go through the traumatic experience of BIRTH to birth more trauma into my moments, my days, my months, my years. I know I am here to be a light. That is my only function. Nothing more to do. Nothing more to be. I can just glow.

Today I chose to glow with gratitude, and sometimes when I do that in one moment, memories from the past, ones where I wasn’t choosing gratitude come into my awareness. Some people may say that these memories are “tests”. I personally don’t believe in tests from the Universe. What I do believe is happening, is that while I am in this higher state of gratitude and love, that the memories that exist in my subconscious mind that are not of this vibration are coming in to be cleared. These memoires come to the surface, and meet my conscious mind to recieve an offering, and offering of love, peace, gratitude. As the observer of this scene in my mind, I can do one of two things. I fall to my knees with this past event, I can express pity, I can go into pain, I can cry, I can remember the vibration of the victim an fall away from love and grace. The other option is choosing love. I can stay high, and demand this memory rise into being with me, I can claim that my attention is not available to those begging on their knees. I can claim that mind mind is a holy place of love and love is all that can preside. This is the choice that comes from the seat of the throne.

The throne is the place of power in the mind. From this place, everything around you is unfolding in a natural way, a way that you admit you have no understanding of, because you are of the human mind, and the human mind has no role in the creation of reality. You bow to the heart, you surrender the thinking, to the feeling, and you remember the true ruler is above the mind. You do experience moments of understanding, when it comes to the nature of reality, but this is only because you have let go of your mind and lost it to a decently high degree, and what you come to understand is most likely too much of a feeling to articulate into words. There are some instances where words come through, and those are times to be highly grateful for.

Let’s get back to the choice to sit on the throne. In my experience, the coming into being with sitting on the throne has evolved from many times of crying on my knees. Mentally crying on my knees, not physically. Mentally, I’m pitting myself, I’m remembering my life experience through the eyes of victimhood, I’m asking around if anyone can save me. You know, that garbage. I don’t know why that option exists for me, but what I do know, is that it rises me up into the throne many times. I become aware of this sense of separation and lack, and I find myself thinking “this isn’t me!” and up to the throne I go. I watch. I experience. I feel love.