Holy Words For Earth

Despair fills the room.

It is as though you are blind

unable to see my light.

With your Spirit in a bind

and the pain, a unique kind,

you ask to be released.

Who is the one who releases you?

What is it that they must do?

Must they fight a demon?

Must they cast the past away?

What is it for you that you need to see?

What is it for you, for you to be set free?

Tell me, and it will be delivered today.


Wipe me clean

Let all that is seen

In darkness

Be light

God, allow me to borrow your strength, your might

In that I might become more like you

Strong like you

Clear minded like you

Open hearted like you

Let me be yours

Let me be strength


My brothers and sisters are in the grip of the devil and I call on my Father to save them. My Father is a being of pure love and light. My Father is a being of great strength and might. I cannot live to see more suffering on this earth without taking action in the light any longer. I’ve gotten stronger and it is time for the world to see it. I have a voice, and it is time I release it. Let peace and joy be heard among all nations.


I’ve been gifted with holy rage

I see the world around me in fear

Let me be clear

We must connect more

We must explore the hearts and minds of others

We are sister and brothers

Why are we afraid of one another?

Why are afraid?

being 😊

We write to you today, to ask you to believe. What we would love to feel you believe is your power to connect with us. We are beings who are light, just like you. We have emotions, we have thoughts, we have visions, wants, and needs. We have responsibilities, and we have fun. We trust in God more than you do, because we know who He is. Humanity has very little knowledge of their creator, and their confusion on the subject has caused chaos in this world. If you truly knew God, you wouldn’t believe yourself. You wouldn’t share with anyone what you had come to know, because it wouldn’t be something to place into words. If you truly knew God, you would no longer think, and therefore you would no longer speak. There would be nothing more to search for, reach for, desire, or create. You would remain in one state for all of eternity. Have you ever wondered that maybe you come into this body knowing nothing for a reason? Have you ever stopped to ponder that reason?

Ask yourself, why is it that I long to know all that I do not know?

Perhaps, that part of you is God. Is it possible that you chose to be yourself so that you could come to know new information, so that you could come to have experiences that you had never had before? You couldn’t have had these experiences as God. You had to have these experiences as you. So, you dropped a piece of yourself down into a physical experience created by thought and emotion. For what purpose? A purpose that is unique to you. We can’t tell you this purpose, because only you remember. You created this entire existence. Once you remember your creative abilities as the one who chose this experience, you can stop creating within the experience.

Imagine you were a chef, and as you watched yourself cook a delicious Italian meal, you decided you wanted to experience the reality that your ingredients experienced as you created your meal. So, you left your body, and you became a pasta noodle. You left the role of the creator, to become a part of the whole. Now, as the pasta noodle, you have no memory of being a chef. You’re just a noodle! You’re surrounded by other noodles! And tomatoes and basil and salt and pepper! What more could there be than just us?

As a human, you forgot all about creation. You forgot how it came to be. You forgot how thrilling it was. You forgot what it was like to just watch, as life did it’s thing. Somewhere along the journey, humanity lost it’s connection with where it originated from and why it chose to be itself and now we face multiple possible realities collapsing on top of one another. With so many choices, life becomes complex and scary. Connection to who each soul believes to be it’s original home is essential to the evolution of consciousness and the safety of the human race. We must choose to connect to something greater than our one life, and that must involve all of humanity working as one.

If there is more than just us, if we are being watched by something greater than us, how do we stop and connect with that part of our soul? Could it be possible that the other life beyond earth isn’t outside of us, but is actually within us? What if the intelligent life force that we all wonder about is within us, asking for us to listen? Could it be possible that we question this life not because it is truly us coming forward with these questions, but because there is other life inside of us calling for our attention? How many different lives are alive inside of your one body? How many different versions of you exist in this reality? You can’t possibly prove that you are the only you in existence. It’s impossible to make a claim on who you really are. You know your name, yes, but what does that mean anyway?

Can you hear me too? As you receive these words, what do I sound like? I’m in your head, aren’t I? I didn’t write this book, you did. You’re the one urging this woman to quit her job, sell her things, and move across the country to find some space to write this way and you don’t even know you’re doing it. You call stuff into your life like that, all the time. You called this in. This woman I am, lives a simple life. She meditates all day, does yoga, goes for walks, prays all hours of all days. The one thing she doesn’t have control of is this urge to write. Over and over again she feels like she has to find a way to let the voice within her share what it has to share… or else. Or else what? Or else you’ll be stuck in the dark. Yes, you. Is it true you’ve been experiencing darkness of some kind? Confusion? Shame? Fear? I want you to know that what you receive as thought is heard by all of us. We all exist within you. I feel you, I hear you and you feel me, you hear me. We will always be together like that. Every single part/piece of this world is outside of you, yes, but it was all within you, first.

Before time was a thing, space was all there was. Space existed without boundaries. Now, with time, and people, places, things, it’s harder to grasp our connection to one another. Human beings are the greatest form of life on earth that I know of. We are so unlimited, in so many ways. As my small personality self, I don’t know much about being limitless. However, as my soul, I know everything. I’ve been everything. So have you.

Listen. Breathe. Be still. How did this word get here to you? Was there truly a process? Do you believe certain things had to happen a certain way for this experience to come to be here… or is it just here? Have there been choices you’ve made that created a certain energy that matched with the frequency of this message? Are you really creating all of this? Is it possible that this word is unfolding from inside of you, that this word is seen from inside of us? Or is it what the body would say, that these words are seen by you and they are no part of you at all? Are you living like the chef, watching the perfect meal come together? Or are you the noodle, a small little part of something you have no authority over? Sometimes this stuff is a lot for me to think of, but other times, it’s so energizing, and it feels so good to just… wonder.

Like with life…

It can be a lot… it can be a trauma to overcome… to heal.

Or this human life can be the greatest experience of your existence… a wonder.

If we continue believing that we have nothing to do with anything that is here right now, we will always feel like something is missing. What’s missing? Connection. To our power, to our time, to our creations, to our selves, and to these souls. Connection is sustained through feeling. Awareness. Presence with. Energy shared. When we feel what the truth of our souls feel, we feel satisfaction, joy, ease, calm. That’s soul. Anything else is a warning that we’ve been led out of the real. Ya feel?

I want to keep writing. I want this to be good. I want this to be entertaining and enlightening.

What’s that? The small self getting in the way of the expression of the soul.

See… the soul knows it is. The soul is ready for anything that is created to be. The soul does not think. The soul just is. Writing was flowing, until my small self came into my experience. I know those thoughts are her because well, when I write from my soul, I don’t really want anything. When I live from my soul, I don’t want anything. I simply am aware of multiple potentials and I choose those realities for myself from the seat of the soul. So, slow down. Just be here. And keep going, with a little more focus on connection, awareness, and intention. Discover it all. Sit back in wonder and awe of how amazing it is that you are HERE!

I am here, too.

Hi.

To Every Personality I Have Ever Clung To

To every personality I have every clung to, thank you.

You come into my world

A beautiful girl

A talented girl

Wise girl

Strong girl

Girl who works out

Girl who loves smoothies

Girl who loves dating

Girl, girl, girl

I can try forever to be one

but, I’m not.

I’m waking up to all that I am beyond all of the personalities, a reality where I am liberated from being “myself”.

Being “myself” has been painful, exhausting, thrilling, exciting, a journey I have loved deeply, but finally

life takes me into this new moment without any concept of who I am.

No vision to live into, but the vision of full expression of the self that is here in this moment

there is no need for me to be anyone I am not

and no expectation to return into who I once was.

Here I am

a person

a soul occupying a body

new

bright

and I might never feel this way again

or I might feel this way all the time.

The point is that in this moment, I’m not controlling anything. I’m let off. Released. Broken, like the egg shell that holds the golden yolk.

We would starve, if we never let ourselves get devoured, and transformed.

Writing Without Personal Thought

Ah. Finally, a breath. What if I didn’t put any thought into an entire work of writing? What if I truly, fully let it all come out and allowed it to just be so? What would I have? Well, I would have something like what is here right now. What is here right now is a reflection of what is inside of me in this moment. Is that true? That these words were inside me at a time? Or is it possible that these words are already on the page, and I just happen to be the key to revealing them? Who is to say that the page is not inside of us, as are the words? In my imagination, I can see a page with words written in invisible ink. Perhaps the writing that is being done in this moment is happening in that way. It’s already written, I am just coming along and using my light to expose what has always been. Every blank page holds space for multiple possibilities. The possibility that comes into being, what is that dependent on? Focus? Intention? The one who is with the blank page? Now, things are getting difficult. I am so proud of the damn invisible ink metaphor thing that I am thinking again. I even thought about writing “I am thinking”. I just read in a book today that we don’t think, that thinking happens to us. Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, was the source of that. If thinking is happening to me, who is causing the thinking to happen in this way? If thinking happens to me, wouldn’t that mean that something that is not me is thinking for me? That must be what it means to be free of thought, to have nothing thinking within you. I ask for guidance before I continue on. I wish to write from that special place beyond thought, and I know I can. I connect with spaces beyond thought with my breath and with thought itself. It’s funny to me that we transcend thought through thought. Someone must have had the thought some day, “I want to sit in silence,” and that sitting led to being and that being was beyond thought. Does thought proceed everything? Or are there some things that just come into being, without thought at all? When I find myself quite thought-less I don’t make much sense, I’m less dense, out of tense, meaning past present and future. I have confidence in this skill of mine, I often see success in my future. I would hope that this piece of writing would be entertaining, I believe that it is. My one challenge is with where to send my work, or how to even send it in. I can do all of this in the moment. I can do it anywhere, with anyone. I can even speak like this, it doesn’t have to necessarily be typed. Anyways, I’m talented. Cool. What about you? Where do you feel most called to place your energy? Time is valuable, a hot commodity. Now, it’s difficult to stop rhyming, as you can see. I prefer my writing to write itself, it’s so much more fun that way. Sometimes I write with the writing, for example, when I said “so much more fun”, back a few words, a voice inside said “1000 times more fun”. However my body just typed so much more. What is that inner conflict? How curious I am about that. It is fascinating to me that I can hear from inside of my body, yet, my body can act in a way that is different than what I hear. I’m not so sure that words exist for the experience I am having. I don’t believe that anything is private. It can’t be. If I can hear my own thoughts, there must be something or someone else hearing them too. And if I consider what Mr. Tolle wrote about thoughts, this experience inside of me seems to be even more fascinating. When I say me, I am referring to my body. However, I am not 100% certain that thought truly occurs inside of my body. It seems that it is, but not everything is as it seems. When I breathe deeper and focus on where these words come from. Wow. I just did. Sound slowed down. I don’t know how else to share. I started this piece of writing with a question “What if I didn’t put any thought into an entire work of writing?” In this moment, I must correct myself because there has been a lot of thought here. I believe that the question could be evolved to be around my ability to produce a piece of writing without thought. Perhaps I will write in this way more often, to see if as I practice pure creation, flow of action without thought, my writing will change. Maybe, people will find that exciting to witness. This is my first time doing this, and I would enjoy doing it again. To clarify, what I am doing is just writing, there is no purpose or topic. However, it seems that part of me is determined to fashion some sort of objective, audience, topic, and goal. I find that interesting. I would like to just write, but that doesn’t seem entirely possible. As I’ve gone further and further on, it seems to be more and more challenging not to think. Suddenly, I want this creation to be good. I’m wondering where or when it will be read, and by who. I didn’t have those thoughts earlier in time, where I had only just written “ah. Finally a breath.” When I began, there was no inner voice present, and now, there is an inner voice reading each word with me as I am typing. Is is possible that my inner experience has become one with the outer experience? Should I allow myself to release judgement of this change I am witnessing? It seems there are two choices now in front of me: to analyze the inherent positivity and negativity of the new experience of the inner voice in conjunction with the outer creation of words on paper or to ignore whether it is good or bad and just choose to experience. I always breathe before I make choices. There is an energy present within me that is curious about the experience of the creation of this piece of writing. Is it good that I am reading each word that I type as I type it? Is this anxiety? Is this just anxiety pushed out? Has this been inside of me? All I can think now is wow… good thing I practice meditation. Imagine what the inside of my mind would be like without it! Should I be on meds? No. Immediately no. I love science. Pharmacy is both intellectually thrilling and satisfying to me, however I do not wish to have any products of pharmacy in my body. If my mind is insane, let it live on doing so. I want to experience me. Whatever happens… I think I scared myself. The experience is changing again. “Why don’t you just breathe Christina?” I hear. That’s my intuition, I’m sure of that. Okay, I will just breathe. Well, kinda hard to just breathe when I’m writing. I don’t want to take one second away from this very important work that I am doing to ‘just breathe’. Namaste grinding. Just kidding. Five minutes of breath work. Sign me up. This work could use more presence and deeper awareness, it’s getting weird and not the kinda weird I enjoy. This voice inside of me doesn’t seem to want the worst for me. It seems to want to live life as me. It’s 1:08 AM and I can’t get enough of life. Writing without personal thought. I think that is a more accurate description of this project. I would say that those 2 sentences came from me only because it was silent inside when I wrote them. But, other times when I write, I can hear the words before I write. I used to think that I was hearing God, now I wonder, am I hearing ego? What is the difference if any, between God and ego? God has created ego? Or is ego an expression of God? We all have a voice inside our mind. For some people it may come in different sounds or volumes. For some people this voice may only ever sound like their own voice. I wish I could know right now, what yours was like. Mine sounds like me, for now. Sometimes after I’ve listened to someone talk, my inner dialogue is just like their voice. Sometimes, that scares me. I definitely have some attachment to hearing my own voice in my mind. It’s comforting. Written word is unique in that way, compared to audiobooks, video content, or podcasts. When word is written, we can read in our own inner voice. When word is spoken to us, we don’t have that choice. Or is that choice an illusion? Mr. Tolle wrote that we don’t think, thinking happens to us. Would it be true to then say that we don’t talk to ourselves? Could it be that talking happens to us? Who are we? Really? If we aren’t the ones who are thinking and we aren’t the ones who are speaking, who is? And if this piece of writing is coming from thought that is happening to me, who is writing this book? I am.

Why did I want to live without thought so badly? Things just seemed to be easier that way. That’s not true. What’s true is that I am a person who likes to be “good”. I have always been the “good girl”. I have this idea in my mind that it is good to live life without thought, that thought is harmful to spirit. It has always been my wish to be as close to spirit as I can.

you can make beautiful art…

while falling apart.

I hope you enjoy my newest ebook. I’ve made a few of these, but this is my very first one I have decided to publish. Stay blessed. Enjoy. ❤️

Who Are We

Poetry I am
in my mind
I can

do

everything.

Sweet melody
within me,
won’t you come out to be seen?

Melody
every part of me
breathes golden brown

burned.
Turned.
Transformed.

We are the last of the bruised

the last of the shackled
writers of a new way
we are carriers and all I can say is

Yes
Yes
I can sing my melody

Yes
Yes
I am ready to show the world
who it is that is truly, fully free.

Power, flow through us, easy

Love, flow through us, freely

Money, come and be, come and release, come and play

Come and play

Return today

To who we truly are

To who we truly are

I’m Home.

These people that break our hearts are real people. They have histories and beliefs and wants and needs. When we want love from someone else, and aren’t getting it, we dehumanize them. We speak about them, calling out what is wrong or lacking in them, because of course there must be something wrong or lacking in them if they can’t or don’t want to love us. I used to do this. But there was never anything wrong with them, there was never anything wrong with me. None of it ever meant anything. It was just a scene in the movie of my life and the only reason it hurt so bad was because I was using my mental power to attempt to rewrite a scene that had already aired on the screen of life. Mentally molding myself and the person who didn’t love me enough to fit an idea of what should have happened between us was destroying me. With all of my energy tied up in the past energy exchanges that occurred between us, I was blind to any other possibilities for our future. This behavior was what caused me the pain, not the man, or the heartbreak, or the loss of a person, but the mere resistance to what is the present moment reality. That is the only thing that can ever truly cause suffering in this world. All suffering ends when there is acceptance found in what is here in the one present moment. If I can’t find acceptance in the present moment, I can just be here and experience the emotions that are true in the space between me and my coming into union with acceptance. Eventually, witnessing it move through and out of my consciousness. Yet, not being here for that reason at all. The emotions are simply here to pass through. I know I came into existence for my experience, the one I have here and now. Life will move, within my seasons of surrender to full experiences of it.

Light of the Holy World

I look at pictures of myself and think, “wow. That girl deserves everything.”

Not in a conceded way.

Not in a selfish way.

I think of myself in this way, because I know how much I’ve been through.

I let go of what this world has given me in the past, and I focus on what is given to me in this moment.

I knew what I would be doing for this world, in the future and that I needed to be here.

There were so many times that I wanted to quit.

But, here I am.

Still.

Rising from nothing. Moving. Choosing myself and choosing love, even when I feel judged for doing so. I chose solitude over empty connections. I waited until I had something more to pour. All along, God kept me breathing. That was how I knew I mattered, because I was breathing. I didn’t remain in the light the entire time. I lost myself, I did. But I always came back. I was always welcomed wholeheartedly. The people of the earth have navigated the worlds deadliest, darkest events, and still, we chose to have love within us. We choose to love our creator, ourselves, the people around us, and planet earth even in great pain.

With all of this light and unconditional love in our hearts, we were now unstoppable.

We went through the tests, victorious.

In the past, I didn’t understand what it was, or what it was for. But still, I trusted that one day I would know how to use it.

That day, has finally come.

I promised the Universe that I would be ready when that day would come.

Here it is.

I deserve every single ounce of good that comes my way, don’t ever think otherwise. I worked for this. I earned this. It was never easy, until I decided it could be. It was never fun, until I let it all in.

Now, and forever, I deserve all the light in the world, I deserve all I desire to have.

I am One with the Light of the Holy World.

I breathe the highest blessings into this New Holy World, and Every One Here with me.

This is a new era.

Free Love

A Poem

Words can be misleading

There are so many meanings

And greetings?

I’m glad your text didn’t have one

I’m glad you can just release your thoughts to me and be undone from tradition, polite recognition

is never required with me

I am a force of Love

And from the rules and bounds,

We are completely

free.

I don’t want to change

I can’t take any words seriously that ask me to rearrange

my heart into one that protects itself

I’ve always given myself

fully to the moment

without thought

and I don’t plan on stopping

this Love I have,

I don’t have to hold it

to give it to myself

I don’t have to ration it.

Be careful who I give it to?

Why would I do that?

With-holding a force that is never ending and unmeasurable

never made sense.

Love has always been overflowing

and always will be.

I trust in Love, unconditionally.

So, I give to everyone, I try my best, in a world where I was taught to only give to a select few.

“Only give to those who give back to you.”

No.

This world is confusing

and I wish we would stop see using, refusing to trust in the truth that we can give

without analysis.

We can give

without loss.

We can share without a care.

It’s Free Love
Free Love
Let’s go there.

I am

I am my beach 

when all I know is out of reach

my mind thinks I need the ocean

to connect back to a better feeling emotion

but something greater than my limited perception 

calls forth a resurrection 

of all that I logically know 

like a backstage pass for the show

another veil is lifted for me 

and I finally see

everything I think I need

in order to feel whole again

like the gym, or friends,

traveling or men

it’s all temporary,

while God’s love is eternal

and to the human mind

depending fully on Him is sometimes scary 

but do not be afraid

because in wholeness we were all made

I am my bliss

I am my ocean

I can choose to feel any emotion

I call my power back into my own hands

I let go of what I think it all is,

I release any and all plans

because in this space

I can erase my limits and my doubts

I am that I am

a bright beam of light 

within me, around me

a sun, a moon, a universe

a wholeness I will never be without