Holy Words For Earth

Despair fills the room.

It is as though you are blind

unable to see my light.

With your Spirit in a bind

and the pain, a unique kind,

you ask to be released.

Who is the one who releases you?

What is it that they must do?

Must they fight a demon?

Must they cast the past away?

What is it for you that you need to see?

What is it for you, for you to be set free?

Tell me, and it will be delivered today.

Wipe me clean

Let all that is seen

In darkness

Be light

God, allow me to borrow your strength, your might

In that I might become more like you

Strong like you

Clear minded like you

Open hearted like you

Let me be yours

Let me be strength

My brothers and sisters are in the grip of the devil and I call on my Father to save them. My Father is a being of pure love and light. My Father is a being of great strength and might. I cannot live to see more suffering on this earth without taking action in the light any longer. I’ve gotten stronger and it is time for the world to see it. I have a voice, and it is time I release it. Let peace and joy be heard among all nations.

I’ve been gifted with holy rage

I see the world around me in fear

Let me be clear

We must connect more

We must explore the hearts and minds of others

We are sister and brothers

Why are we afraid of one another?

Why are afraid?

Old Stuff

Would it be okay with you, if I were to really feel it?

Would you be filled with anxiety if I were to reveal it,

How I’m really feeling about this life right here?

What I really think about this world right now?

Im always disconnected

Love is neglected

And misunderstood

I should do it this way

I can’t do it that way

I’m not happy

Or at least I’m not free to express it

Am I free to express anything?

There are so many people around me who can sing

But I’ll never hear their voices

Im too caught up in analyzing the choices i make

Regretting the opportunities I don’t take

Do I even see them?

When did I agree to get this blind?

To allow this spirit to be bound by time?

This is not going the way that I thought it would

I wanna make the world shake

But I can’t do it alone

I need to you help us build a better home

Come home with me

Come home with me

Another day

Forever is an eternity. Would you spend an eternity with yourself if you could? In some ways, I believe this life is about being whoever you need to be in order for the answer to that question to be a yes. In other ways, I don’t believe that we have much control over who we choose to be. It’s hard to know for sure if your perception of yourself is at all true.

Would I spend an eternity with myself? In some ways, it feels like I am.

Meet Yourself

Meet yourself

in the space between

there lies your greatest fears

as well as your greatest loves.

All that you are is here,

so what’s next?

Where do you go?

What do you do?

You don’t.

You don’t.

You’re here.

That was the mission, to arrive.

You have arrived, and you are alive.

There’s not much more to it.

You are the one who chooses to make your being jump and dance and sometimes, you feel like a puppet on a string. Which would be fun, if you were the one holding the strings.

But instead,

your depression is.

Your anxiety is.

Your mom is.

Your dad is.

And am I?

In that space still.

Meet yourself in the space.

The space between

there lies your greatest fears, the reasons you have created for why you just can’t touch these powers you have to control your own body you would rather have something to blame, something outside of you that pulls these strings

there lies your greatest loves the reasons we have created to keep you in the game you love music you love dancing you love cooking you love people you love life

this life

just the way it is

it’s been designed for you

just the way you asked

you can hide from pulling the strings all you like, but you’re still doing something by doing nothing.

So, we wish you would just be here,

noticing how magnificent it all is.

We wish you would just be here, in that space. I know you want to get out of it, but just stay here a while. Sit in who you are. Let yourself be.

Those Eyes of Yours

Use your eyes wisely.

Keep looking forward.

Ask yourself, “what do you want me to see?”

You’ll find that the truth of you only wants good things for you.

Take control of your imagination.

Release control.

Re-lease. Renew the lease of the control of your self in the name of your loving God.

Let the fullest love become your life.

Everything else, it falls away.

Love is all there is, and all there will be.

Remember the power your have as a child of God.

Expanding Trust in Life

Everything around you, is you. If you don’t trust something in this world, you don’t trust something in you. If you don’t trust everything in you, you won’t trust everything in this world. There is nothing wrong with not having full trust in yourself. There is nothing wrong with not having full trust in this world.

Today I am in the JFK airport in New York City. I arrived here from Paris, France at 10pm. My next flight is going to Salt Lake City, Utah, and it leaves at 6:30am. I’ve been waiting in a corner of the airport check in area for a while now.

I met the woman who sat next to me a few moments ago, and we exchanged a few words. She told me about her trip to Istanbul, Turkey. About an hour passed and I had to go to the bathroom. I definitely wanted to leave my suitcase, and I thought it would be wise to take my backpack with me. I told the woman I was going to the bathroom and asked if she would be okay watching my things. She said, “yes leave it here!” I left all of my things, and walked to the bathroom.

As my body began moving towards the bathroom and away from my things, I watched thoughts come into my awareness quicker. Anxiety, fear, and worry, all three were present. After a few moments of listening to that worry, I heard a stronger, more clear voice inside of me say, “and what does your heart think?” I took my focus out of my thoughts and as I witnessed my heart… I was calm. The next thing I thought to myself was, “here I am, expanding my ability to trust life.”

You who is reading this might think I’m crazy. Why didn’t I just take my things with me, so that I didn’t have to worry? A question I would like to ask is, why would I miss an opportunity to show myself that this world has good people in it, good people that are trustworthy?

I trust in the flow of this life. I trust in the feelings in my heart. I watch my mind grow in awareness of the goodness of this world. It really can be a place of pure goodness. I believe that.

For anyone that is wondering, when I got back from the bathroom, my things were untouched. Some would say, “lucky you!” Luck is not a factor for me here, instead, a deep knowing of my connection/relationship with the universe, with everything that is here right now, is present. That truly is all that I need. This knowing of who I am leads me into the situations that are right for me. I trust my decisions because I trust myself to follow the highest callings of the universe. I welcome in greater trust in life. Amen.

It’s all happening

I finally understood what people meant when they said that when you are truly happy, you have no need to share it with anybody else. You have all of these feelings dancing with your soul, and you can’t possibly think of placing your focus away from this inner experience, because if you did, you might miss a second of it. You can’t reach the world around you with what you have within. So, you just continue living your life, and if a photo ends up online of you maybe having a drink or smiling with your family, it does, but not for any reason, it’s just there, happening, the same way that you just are, happening. It’s beautiful really, to just let it all happen.

the ugly girl

When you have been the ugly girl

the outsider girl

the awkward girl

the not invited to the party girl

the sitting alone in the cafeteria girl,

you have something that 

the girls and boys who fit in 

all their lives 

will never have.

You know how to be alone, 

and absolutely love it

because you were so isolated, 

that you were forced to love yourself.

You can walk into a room full of people 

and not care about what any of them think

because you know it can’t possibly be worse 

than what you’ve already been told to your face.

There are other days though, 

where you are alone, 

and you absolutely hate it

because the only thing that you can think about is 

what purpose there could possibly be 

for anyone to ever be so cruel to you.

You walk into a room full of people 

and get hit with waves of anxiety and horror

because you imagine that you can hear what they are all thinking 

about you and your body and your face and your hair

and the words feel like metal scraping the inside of your body.

There is so much 

that you experience 

in you own mind, 

that you don’t think anyone 

will ever understand

today, you are a beautiful woman, 

and no one you know today 

thinks of you as the ugly girl that you believe you are.

And you wish you could see you how they must see you.

They have a clean slate, yours has been dirtied by name calling and teasing.

You can’t see yourself without it

and they can’t see you with it.

No one will ever keep the ugly girl alive like you do

and no one can ever let her go like you should.

My Biggest Regret

My biggest regret in this life is with the years of my life where I was not living life how I wanted to. However, I could say that I wanted to live my life how “I didn’t want to” because my soul was there for all of those years. Those years when the desires of my heart were unheard and brushed aside were created by God and I, despite how dark they were.

Those years created a woman who is determined, faithful, kind, and connected to her true essence. She is overflowing with passion for each step she sees on this journey of witnessing the experiences of the realities of her day dreams.

All is good. God is love and love is all.